I do this for you.
Everyday I breathe,
Its you in my minds eye I see
I hear your words of love and discipline
I feel guilty, why didn’t I listen?
Was it me..?
Did my actions send you into eternity?
All the stupid things I want to ask
What wouldn’t I give up to have you back?
Yet it goes on and life is lived with the strength you instilled in me
You did your best even tho I fought it when u were busy filling me
I remember your life and how u struggled
What wasn’t understood, a trip to the homestead filled the gaps
You were so mad sometimes, now I get that
It’s your life that teaches me how to be
Honest, respectful, try to treat all with courtesy
Daily practice of everything u taught
Do u see me up there? Do I make you proud? Is this all for naught?
I remember that day, that phone call, that long winter drive
I remember closing your eyes for the last time
In my head I see it all clearly, it’s never left
but I understand now U thought it was all for the best
I’d gladly give up all of the acquired clarity
just to have the chance to once again call upon your charity
the love that was given to me unconditionally
it’s vanished along with your breath, gone permanently
now it’s your spirit that follows close behind
A pale comparison to you,
But I’ll be patient Mom, I’ll soon see u again in time…